5 Ways Children of Divorce Suffer
December 18, 2007 | Leave a Comment
While not specific to either Memphis family law or Mississippi family law, I recently came across a post on the Oklahoma Family Law Blog, which is written by family lawyer Dan Nunely, that brought up several points that all parents in Memphis and the surrounding areas should consider if they are going through a divorce.
The blog referenced an article written by Trish Berg that discussed the losses that children suffer when divorce occurs. The following is her list of the five main losses children experience during divorce:
1. Loss of Dad - When parents divorce, typically the dad leaves the home, and may not be present much in the lives of the children. This causes an emotional vacuum for the children, and they may feel rejected, alone, and unloved, no matter how much the single parent loves them.
2. Loss of Money - When dad leaves, so does a lot of the money. Economic resource are, at best, cut in half, at worst, single parent families live in poverty.
3. Loss of Security - Kids of divorce often move to a new, smaller home, in a new town, with a new school. They now have to visit their dad. If mom and dad then begin dating, an entirely new stress is added to their lives. Their sense of stability and security is shaken as their world has forever changed.
4. Loss of Harmony - Many kids whose parents divorce feel caught in the middle. The fighting may have stopped, but now Mom may talk negatively about dad, and dad may gripe about mom, all in front of the kids. Parents may play games with visitation, and hold the children as emotional ransom. This loss of harmony causes tremendous chaos and stress for them.
5. Loss of Simplicity - Life for children of divorce can get very complicated. They have to schedule everything they do, and remember what weekends they are visiting dad so they don’t play in a soccer league with games then. They have to split heir holiday time - Christmas Eve with dad, Christmas morning with mom. And when life events hit, they have to worry about mom and dad being in the same place. Who will come to my eighth grade graduation? Will they see each other? Will they fight? Family life is now complex and chaotic, and that will last for the rest of their lives.
What can you do to help your children? Explain to them the process that you are going through. Make sure that they understand that nothing they haven’t done anything to cause the divorce. Never argue in front of them or use them as pawns between your spouse. And try to keep things as constant and familiar as you can. The more things remain the same the more secure your children will feel.
What Are the Grounds for Divorce in Tennessee?
December 13, 2007 | Leave a Comment
One of the most frequent questions that a Mississippi divorce lawyer gets asked is “What are the grounds for divorce?” In Mississippi the courts have decided that there are 12 legal grounds for divorce. Here are they are, with the top three reasons listed first.
- Habitual Cruel and Inhuman Treatment
- Adultery
- Desertion
- Natural Impotency
- Sentenced to a Penitentiary
- Habitual Drunkenness
- Habitual Drug Use
- Insanity at the Time of Marriage
- Bigamy
- Pregnancy of Wife by Another at the Time of Marriage, Without Husband’s Knowledge
- Incest
- Incurable Insanity
You can find more detailed information about these Mississippi grounds for divorce on our website HERE.
Should You Date During Your Divorce?
December 11, 2007 | Leave a Comment
This is an easy question to answer, it’s a resounding NO!
Although you may be separated from each other and living apart you should never date anyone while going through the divorce process. Rember, technically you are still married. What that means is that if you date someone while going through a divorce your spouse could sue you for divorce based on adultery.
You might say, “So what, who cares what he or she sues me for. I’m getting a divorce anyway.” But the truth is that a divorce based on adultery can cause major problems if you are wanting to get alimony or custody of children. You could end up without either if decide to date someone during the divorce process.
Not only that, but if you originally filed for divorce based on your spouses adultery your dating someone could destroy your grounds for divorce. When this occurs it is called recrimination and it can cause your divorce to drag out in court costing you thousands in legal fees and delaying your divorce.
Just remeber, your divorce will eventually be final and then you’ll have nothing but time to find and date that special someone. Until then keeps your hands to yourself and leave the dating life to your single friends.
