Co-parenting can be hard. It’s not always easy to be a gracious primary residential parent, nor is it always easy to be the alternative resident either. Try to let go of the anger that led to the divorce and do your best to help foster the relationship between your child(ren) and your former spouse. The marriage is over, there was probably a lot of hurt, but the children should not be tools for revenge. Be gracious in your role.

1. Be flexible.Your ex only has the kids for short visits. If there is a hiccup in his or her schedule be gracious enough to trade weekends or meet them at a halfway point if they have a long drive. Since child support is tied to visitation days, unless there is more than a 15% change in planned days and actual days, you should just work out small changes.

2. Be proactive. Send report cards and progress reports with kids or in the mail or email. Send a school schedule and let the other parent know when the spelling bee is, and where. Often alternate residential parents feel out of the loop. It can also be difficult for you ex to get information from schools directly if the proper releases aren’t arranged. Don’t rely on your kids to inform the other parent either, it’s not their responsibility.

3. Send circus tickets with the kids. I’m not kidding. Alternative residential parents love their children too, but child support payments can make it difficult to enjoy extras with the kids. This is about the best interest of the children. If your ex has some fun too, then so be it.

4.Consult with your ex before you make plans. Many alternate residential parents show up for their weekends only to find out that the primary residential parent has already accepted an invitation for a birthday party or a sleepover for Junior. Call first. If calling, becomes shouting. Email. It’s only fair. Alternate residential parents want the children to have fun too. They just want some heads up. You’d be surprised how often they would say, ‘yes.’

 

5. Return phone calls. How is the alternate residential parent supposed to know that the children are in the bathtub or shower? One major complaint of alternate residential parents is that they can never get through to their kids. If the alternate residential parent is calling at the wrong time, have the children call.

 

6. Use litigation as a last resort. Child support late or less than it should be? Don’t let the first call be to the lawyer. Try to work out a plan to pay the arrearage. If you don’t need the money…shhhh, forget it.

 

Our Memphis Divorce Lawyers strive to make sure that parents understand the helpfulness of a meaningful Permanent Parenting Plan. Always remember that your child(ren) will grow up and life will change, therefore your parenting plan will always be there. But the parenting plan is not intended to be an 18 year iron static contract, you and your spouse must always keep it in mind, refer to it, and evaluate and amend as necessary. When you sign the parenting plan, you are agreeing to make a good faith effort to resolve non-financial support related parenting issues between yourselves or seeking a neutral third party to assist you. Our Memphis Divorce Lawyers can advise you throughout the process.

Maintaining custody is a privilege that not every one enjoys. It should not be a tool to abuse or take revenge on your former spouse.

Source of post: Dads Divorce and www.cordellcordell.com ©

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 15th, 2008 at 1:34 pm and is filed under Divorce Law, TN Parenting Plans, Top 10 Lists, child custody & visitation, children. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.