“Gap Year” before College: What can this trend mean for divorcing parents?
April 23, 2008 | 2 Comments
Upon reading an interesting article from MSNBC.com Parenting and Family Section about universities encouraging students to take a “gap year” between graduating high school and starting college, our Memphis Divorce and Family Lawyers wanted some feed back from local parents.
Should your child have a ‘gap year’ before college?
Some students need a break after high school — and some colleges approve
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By Danielle Wood
updated 3:58 p.m. CT, Tues., April. 22, 2008
So what does that mean for divorcing parents in Memphis? As everyone know, the legal obligation to pay child support ends when your child turns 18 or essentially finishes high school. But any parent can agree, they aren’t turning their child loose at 18 either. Co-parenting your child is a relationship that will continue well after your legal obligations have ceased.
In addition to the suggested issues and solutions from the article, here are few more thoughts on the topic:
Have the Money Talk…make sure you, your spouse and your child understand where the money is coming from and making a budget for the year. Your child may not fully understand the legal nature of child support, and you don’t want the embarrassing situation that can arise when they question why no longer are paying/receiving.
Get In First… don’t encourage the year off as a last ditch retaliation. Don’t all your teenager to manipulate your separation as a means to avoid growing up and taking responsibility.
Create a Plan B… if your child does not get into the college of their choice, don’t blame the other parent. Encourage your child to work or go to community college to improve their competitiveness. Remember that even though the legal obligation may cease, your child is still relying on you to emotionally support them.
Put it in Writing… having your child lat out their gap year plans in paper, is not part of your divorce agreement. Be honest with your children, but don’t explain the terms of property division or support agreements that won’t mesh with your child’s planning efforts. You’ll always be your child’s parent.
Tips for Memphis Parents: Be a Gracious Co-Parent
April 15, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Co-parenting can be hard. It’s not always easy to be a gracious primary residential parent, nor is it always easy to be the alternative resident either. Try to let go of the anger that led to the divorce and do your best to help foster the relationship between your child(ren) and your former spouse. The marriage is over, there was probably a lot of hurt, but the children should not be tools for revenge. Be gracious in your role.
1. Be flexible.Your ex only has the kids for short visits. If there is a hiccup in his or her schedule be gracious enough to trade weekends or meet them at a halfway point if they have a long drive. Since child support is tied to visitation days, unless there is more than a 15% change in planned days and actual days, you should just work out small changes.
2. Be proactive. Send report cards and progress reports with kids or in the mail or email. Send a school schedule and let the other parent know when the spelling bee is, and where. Often alternate residential parents feel out of the loop. It can also be difficult for you ex to get information from schools directly if the proper releases aren’t arranged. Don’t rely on your kids to inform the other parent either, it’s not their responsibility.
3. Send circus tickets with the kids. I’m not kidding. Alternative residential parents love their children too, but child support payments can make it difficult to enjoy extras with the kids. This is about the best interest of the children. If your ex has some fun too, then so be it.
4.Consult with your ex before you make plans. Many alternate residential parents show up for their weekends only to find out that the primary residential parent has already accepted an invitation for a birthday party or a sleepover for Junior. Call first. If calling, becomes shouting. Email. It’s only fair. Alternate residential parents want the children to have fun too. They just want some heads up. You’d be surprised how often they would say, ‘yes.’
5. Return phone calls. How is the alternate residential parent supposed to know that the children are in the bathtub or shower? One major complaint of alternate residential parents is that they can never get through to their kids. If the alternate residential parent is calling at the wrong time, have the children call.
6. Use litigation as a last resort. Child support late or less than it should be? Don’t let the first call be to the lawyer. Try to work out a plan to pay the arrearage. If you don’t need the money…shhhh, forget it.
Our Memphis Divorce Lawyers strive to make sure that parents understand the helpfulness of a meaningful Permanent Parenting Plan. Always remember that your child(ren) will grow up and life will change, therefore your parenting plan will always be there. But the parenting plan is not intended to be an 18 year iron static contract, you and your spouse must always keep it in mind, refer to it, and evaluate and amend as necessary. When you sign the parenting plan, you are agreeing to make a good faith effort to resolve non-financial support related parenting issues between yourselves or seeking a neutral third party to assist you. Our Memphis Divorce Lawyers can advise you throughout the process.
Maintaining custody is a privilege that not every one enjoys. It should not be a tool to abuse or take revenge on your former spouse.
Source of post: Dads Divorce and www.cordellcordell.com ©
Grandparents’ rights in Memphis, Tennessee
March 10, 2008 | Leave a Comment
In Memphis, divorce is all too common, many parents choose not to get married, and many children are being raised by a single parent. These are just some of the reasons why in Memphis, and Tennessee as a whole, grandparents’ rights issues seem to be appearing more and more these days. “Grandparents’ rights” is the term used when one or both grandparents are trying to visit their grandchildren or even seeking custody of their grandchildren. Grandparents may be worried about the grandchildren’s health, well-being, or whether the kids are suffering abuse or neglect. Perhaps the kids are not being taken to school on a consistent basis. Maybe the grandparents are just not being allowed to visit their grandkids. Whether you, as grandparents, have the legal right to get involved in the situation will depend on many factors. If you believe your grandchildren may be suffering some type of harm or you have been wrongly prevented from visiting your grandchildren, call the Ferrell Law Firm in Memphis. We can discuss how Tennessee law applies to your situation and make sure the best interests of your grandchildren are being protected.
