A Dozen Ways Children of Divorce get caught in their Parents’ Conflict : Part 1 : Specially posted for Memphis Parents

“Every divorcing parent should make it their top priority to keep their children from getting caught in the middle of the conflict of their divorce.” 

The following tips and thoughts are from James Roberts, RSW, a licensed social worker  in Missouri and Kansas and family therapist in Kansas.  Mr. Roberts practices with Madison Avenue Psychological Services in Kansas City Missouri.  Source of post : Missouri Divorce & Family Law Blog

1.     Bad Mouthing

One of the most hurtful things a divorce parent can do to a child is to criticize the child’s other parent in the child’s presence.  Statements such as “Your father caused our divorce”, or “if it weren’t for your mother, we’d still be a family,” are common examples of “bad-mouthing”

2.     Forcing a Child To Choose

It is harmful to pressure a child to “take sides” in a dispute between the divorced parents.  Children have a right to their own thoughts and feelings about the divorce and deserve to know they will be loved by both parents regardless of the opinions and feelings they have.  If parents are in conflict over custody and children are facing a decision about which home to live in outside professionals should be called upon for help.

3.     Spying

A parent who asks a child questions about the other parent’s personal life is asking that child to become involved in the parents’ conflicts.  Children in this situation may end up feeling they have betrayed a parent they love.

4.     Making the Child the Messenger

Parents make their children do a parent’s job when they ask their children to carry messages to the other parent.  Children learn indirect ways to communicate when asked to be messengers and may feel guilt over having to assume adult responsibilities for their parents’ communication

The remainder of James Robert’s list will be posted to this blog in two future articles.  As Memphis Divorce Lawyers we take the time to research and repost helpful information from around the country and the world for our local clients.

Memphis Family Members Provide Child Care

“Grandparents serve as the primary caregivers for about 20 percent of the 11.3 million preschool children with employed mothers, according to data released Thursday by the Census Bureau.

Fathers provide slightly less child care than grandparents, the bureau found. About a quarter of the children under 5 spend most of their time in an organized program like a nursery school, day care or Head Start while their mothers worked.

Whether the mother works or not, relatives regularly provide some regular child care to almost half of the nation’s 19 million preschool children.”

by Tamar Lewin, N.Y. Times Link to Article

Source of post : Family Law Prof Blog

Grandparents’ rights in Memphis, Tennessee

In Memphis, divorce is all too common, many parents choose not to get married, and many children are being raised by a single parent. These are just some of the reasons why in Memphis, and Tennessee as a whole, grandparents’ rights issues seem to be appearing more and more these days. “Grandparents’ rights” is the term used when one or both grandparents are trying to visit their grandchildren or even seeking custody of their grandchildren. Grandparents may be worried about the grandchildren’s health, well-being, or whether the kids are suffering abuse or neglect. Perhaps the kids are not being taken to school on a consistent basis. Maybe the grandparents are just not being allowed to visit their grandkids. Whether you, as grandparents, have the legal right to get involved in the situation will depend on many factors. If you believe your grandchildren may be suffering some type of harm or you have been wrongly prevented from visiting your grandchildren, call the Ferrell Law Firm in Memphis. We can discuss how Tennessee law applies to your situation and make sure the best interests of your grandchildren are being protected.

Law Related Education for Memphis Families

The South Carolina Bar‘s Law Related Education Division has launched LawForKids.org, America’s first stand alone web site dedicated to teaching children about the law. The Site was made possible by collaboration with the Arizona Foundation for Legal Services and Education and an IOLTA grant from the SC Bar. The specific goal of this site is educating children, their parents, communities, and schools to increase their knowledge about youth laws and to encourage law-abiding behavior. You can visit the site by clicking HERE.

Source: South Carolina Family Law Blog

Tax Time in Tennessee

Child Support and Taxes

What you need to know about your taxes if you pay or receive child support.

For federal income tax purposes, child support is tax-free to the recipient, meaning neither the ex-spouse nor the child owes taxes on it. However, child support payments are not tax-deductible by the parent who makes the payments — unlike spousal support payments. (Spousal support is tax-deductible for the person who makes the payments and taxable to the recipient.)

Be careful how support is characterized in your marital settlement agreement, as it may have significant tax consequences.

What Qualifies as Child Support?

In order to qualify as child support, the payments received by an ex-spouse must be designated as child support in the divorce or separation agreement. If the agreement lumps the payments together as “family support” or “alimony,” or doesn’t otherwise designate a specific portion of each payment as child support, none of the payment will be considered child support for tax purposes.

This can have adverse tax consequences for the recipient of child support payments, because family support or alimony is taxable to the recipient. So instead of receiving nontaxable child support, the ex-spouse will be receiving alimony, which is taxable to the payee, regardless of what the payee actually uses the money for.

Who Gets to Claim a Child as a Dependent?

Generally, in order for someone to claim a child as a dependent, he or she must provide at least 50% of the child’s support during the tax year. For couples who are still married and living together, claiming kids as dependents is usually a slam-dunk.

Things get complicated, however, when parents divorce or separate. Now, only one of you can claim the dependent exemption. (The IRS will come down hard if both of you try to claim it; they cross-reference dependents’ Social Security numbers to make sure taxpayers aren’t doing this.)

Special Rule for Parents Living Apart

If the parents lived apart at all times during the last six months of the calendar year, or if they have a written divorce decree, maintenance agreement, or separation agreement, there is a special rule that applies.

In this case, if the child received more than half of his or her total support for the year from one or both parents and was in the custody of one or both parents during the year, the IRS rules assume that the custodial parent (defined as the parent who has custody of the child for the greater part of the year) should get the exemption for the dependent. However, the parties may change this presumption and allocate the exemption to the noncustodial parent if either of the following are true:

  • The divorce decree or separation agreement contains a provision in which the custodial parent waives the right to claim the dependent exemption. (The rules are slightly different if the agreement was entered into prior to 1985; the noncustodial parent must also provide at least $600 of support to receive the exemption.)
  • The custodial parent signs a declaration (using IRS Form 8332) relinquishing his or her right to claim the dependent exemption, and the noncustodial parent attaches this declaration to his or her tax return. Using this form, the custodial parent can relinquish the exemption for one year, a number of years, or forever, depending on what the parties agree to.
  • If you relinquish the exemption, you are also relinquishing eligibility for the child tax credit.

The IRS is very picky about Form 8332, and can (and often does) disallow the dependent exemption for the noncustodial parent if this form isn’t signed and attached to the tax return, even if the divorce decree or separation agreement allocates the exemption to the noncustodial parent. That means it’s very important for the noncustodial parent to attach a copy of this declaration to his or her return in every tax year in which he or she claims the exemption.

If the custodial parent refuses to sign Form 8332, the noncustodial parent can attach part of the divorce decree or separation agreement (the cover page, the page that discusses the exemption and the signature page) to his or her tax return to prove that he or she is entitled to the exemption. However, the IRS will accept this only if the decree or agreement doesn’t require that certain conditions be met before the noncustodial parent can claim the exemption. If there are conditions, the noncustodial parent must use Form 8332 or not get the exemption.

Rule for Unmarried Parents or Those Still Living Together

If the parents are not married, did not live apart during the last six months of the calendar year, or do not have a written document, the test for determining which parent can claim the child as a dependent is that the parent who provides more than 50% of a child’s support during the tax year can claim the child as a dependent.

Rules for Parents Who Contribute Equal Amounts of Support

If neither parent provides more than half of the child’s support for the year, things get even more complicated. For more information on how to handle this situation, see IRS Publication 504, Divorced or Separated Individuals, which you can download for free from www.irs.gov.

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