The 3 Different Types of Memphis Divorce Lawyers
September 29, 2008 | Leave a Comment
My friend, and fellow divorce lawyer Michael Sherman who practices law in Alabama (his blog can be found at www.alabamafamilylawblog.com), had an interesting post a few days ago concerning the different types of lawyers you see in family law. I’ve taken his idea and decided to post about these types of divorce lawyers on the Memphis Divorce blog here.
The first type of divorce lawyer you have in Memphis is the Lamb. The Lamb is the kind of lawyer who doesn’t want to offend anyone or rock the boat too hard. He or she will usually bend over backwards to make sure that confrontation is avoided at all costs. Unfortunately avoiding confrontation “at all costs” usually means that his or her client gives up more than they should in their divorce or custody case. The Lamb will usually tell there clients to sign off on the first offer they see. He or she also will try to stay as far away from the courtroom as possible.
The next type of divorce attorney is the Pit Bull. We’ve all heard about these divorce lawyers. They’re the nasty and vicious sorts who will do anything to win a case. They often times don’t worry about what’s best for the parties, but instead only want to devastate the opposition.
The Pit Bull is the type of Memphis divorce lawyer who can’t stand to settle a case. Instead they’ll do anything and everything to avoid settlement and to go to court. When people say they want a mean SOB to represent them this is the guy or gal who they’re talking about. The Pit Bull comes with a cost though, both figuratively and literally.
Unfortunately being a Pit Bull is not best for their clients. If you know anything about Pit Bulls you know that they are great at causing damage to whoever their up againt but this usually comes at a great loss to their own health. They often go so far in trying to hurt others that they cause irreparable damage to themselves. The Pit Bull attorney’s attacks usually end up hurting their own clients by racking up enormous client fees and getting nowhere in negotiations. Usually the Pit Bull will spend tens of thousands of their clients dollars only to end up with the same outcome that would have been had if they had been willing to work cordially with their opposing counsel.
The Pit Bull is aggressive just for the sake of being aggressive and not for the benefit of actually helping their client.
Often people going through divorce will think they need an aggressive lawyer to represent them in their divorce. They are wrong. What they need is a lawyer who is assertive. There is a difference. It is the difference between the Pit Bull and the third type of Memphis divorce lawyer, the Fox.
Our third type of lawyer, The Fox is wise and cunning. He sees the big picture. The fox is assertive when he needs to be, compromising when it benefits his clients’ long-term best interests, and always aware of the many different consequences his actions have on his clients. He stands on principle. Yet, he is a strong advocate for his client when it promotes his client’s long-term best interests. He recognizes that reaching a fair settlement is always preferable to trying the case and leaving it up to the judge. Yet, he also knows that if a fair settlement is not forthcoming, then he must be willing and able to prepare to effectively litigate the case in court.
When choosing a divorce lawyer, you should avoid the lamb and the pit bull at all costs. Instead, find yourself a fox.
Divorce Proofing Your Relationship - The “Three P’s”
August 8, 2008 | Leave a Comment
As divorce lawyers serving Memphis and North Mississippi, unfortunately we see relationships end for many different reasons. Often times the saddest part about this is that these divorces could have been avoided if the couples would have taken part in one of the “Three P’s”.
Dawn Elaine Bowie over at the Maryland Father’s Rights Blog had an interesting post addressing these issues and the “Three P’s”, and I’m including her post below.
“The right to marry is a fundamental human right protected by the United States Constitution and the constitutions of most states. With divorce rates at between 50% and 60%, and the human misery I routinely see as part of my daily work, it’s very easy to be seduced by the idea that if we could just force people to use some common sense we could reduce some of the misery.
On the one hand, I wish it was possible to require folks to go to premarital counseling before they married. Or pass a test before they could procreate. But not only does that kind of government intervention run afoul of the Constitution, it isn’t realistic. Human behavior can’t be legislated in, or out, of existence.
There is no foolproof way to keep a second, third or subsequent marriage from failing. But there are real, common-sense ways to increase your odds for success.
If you need help with a premarital agreement, and you live in Maryland, let me know. I’d far rather get to know you that way, than through representing you in divorce litigation.
Remember the Three P’s:
• Patience - Take plenty of time to get to know your partner before you seal the deal.
• Prenuptial Agreement - Get one, preferably one that covers more than just money and property.
• Premarital Counseling - Spend a little money now and increase your chances of avoiding the big money and the bigger heartache later!”
The original post can be found on the Maryland Father’s Rights blog here.
Remember, it’s always best to try to make the marriage work. However, for many people this just simply isn’t an option. If you and your spouse can no longer stay married and need a divorce, either in Memphis or North Mississippi, call the us at 901-754-1340 or email us at contact@lawferrell.com and we’d be happy to help guide you.
James Ferrell honored in Memphis Magazine as a “Five Star Attorney”
June 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment
We are pleased to announce that our firms principal attorney, James Ferrell, has been selected as a Five Star: Best in Client Satisfaction Wealth Manager in the Attorney Section.
This is a great honor for the firm and for Mr. Ferrell and he would like to thank all of his clients and Memphis Magazine for this great honor.
The full list of selected advisors will be published in an upcoming fall issue of Memphis Magazine. Look for Mr. Ferrell’s listings under the Lawyer/Attorney section.
Facebook, MySpace, and other Online Social Networking and Your Memphis Divorce
March 17, 2008 | Leave a Comment
With the growing popularity of social networks like MySpace and Facebook, you should be aware of that this is next step up from using Internet search history, online chat logs and email when supporting grounds for divorce.
“It is probable that electronic evidence will not lead to a huge rise in divorce figures but it may certainly make a lawyer’s job easier as people are a lot less careful about what they write in emails than what they write down on paper.”
Consider this case from the UK:
In a recent case involving social networking sites a man, from Newport Pagnell, near Milton Keynes, who had been ordered by magistrates not to contact his estranged wife was jailed for 10 days when he joined Facebook and an automatic “friend request” was sent to everyone on his email contact list, including his ex-wife.”
The Internet is a public resource, and the Ferrell Law Firm stresses to all it’s clients to practice safe and responsible internet usage. Privacy settings and limited purpose usage of social netowkring will protect your identity and integrity through any important transition in life.
We suggest you read the privacy policy of any social networking site to understand your public exposure.
Here is an article from Mint.edu on How To Protect Your Privacy while social networking. Also use this information as guide for protecting your children and guiding their usage.
Source of post: Florida Divorce Law Blog post discussing UK: The Citizen posting
Memphis Family Members Provide Child Care
March 12, 2008 | Leave a Comment
“Grandparents serve as the primary caregivers for about 20 percent of the 11.3 million preschool children with employed mothers, according to data released Thursday by the Census Bureau.
Fathers provide slightly less child care than grandparents, the bureau found. About a quarter of the children under 5 spend most of their time in an organized program like a nursery school, day care or Head Start while their mothers worked.
Whether the mother works or not, relatives regularly provide some regular child care to almost half of the nation’s 19 million preschool children.”
by Tamar Lewin, N.Y. Times Link to Article
Source of post : Family Law Prof Blog
Grandparents’ rights in Memphis, Tennessee
March 10, 2008 | Leave a Comment
In Memphis, divorce is all too common, many parents choose not to get married, and many children are being raised by a single parent. These are just some of the reasons why in Memphis, and Tennessee as a whole, grandparents’ rights issues seem to be appearing more and more these days. “Grandparents’ rights” is the term used when one or both grandparents are trying to visit their grandchildren or even seeking custody of their grandchildren. Grandparents may be worried about the grandchildren’s health, well-being, or whether the kids are suffering abuse or neglect. Perhaps the kids are not being taken to school on a consistent basis. Maybe the grandparents are just not being allowed to visit their grandkids. Whether you, as grandparents, have the legal right to get involved in the situation will depend on many factors. If you believe your grandchildren may be suffering some type of harm or you have been wrongly prevented from visiting your grandchildren, call the Ferrell Law Firm in Memphis. We can discuss how Tennessee law applies to your situation and make sure the best interests of your grandchildren are being protected.
Law Related Education for Memphis Families
March 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment
The South Carolina Bar’s Law Related Education Division has launched LawForKids.org, America’s first stand alone web site dedicated to teaching children about the law. The Site was made possible by collaboration with the Arizona Foundation for Legal Services and Education and an IOLTA grant from the SC Bar. The specific goal of this site is educating children, their parents, communities, and schools to increase their knowledge about youth laws and to encourage law-abiding behavior. You can visit the site by clicking HERE.
Source: South Carolina Family Law Blog
A Checklist for Caring for You Elderly Parents in Memphis, TN
February 15, 2008 | Leave a Comment
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Caring For Elderly Parents |
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 By Ramona Creel |
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ASSESSING THEIR NEEDS |
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- Does your parent need help with grooming, bathing, or dressing?
- Does your parent need help with housekeeping, shopping, or yard work?
- Does your friend need help planning or preparing meals?
- Is your parent unable to drive or get around on public transportation alone?
- Does your parent need help managing finances and paying bills?
- Does your parent need help making legal and other important decisions?
- Does your parent have trouble functioning at home? Would modifications help?
- Does your parent have trouble with hearing, vision, or memory?
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GET PERMISSION |
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- financial power of attorney to make financial decisions and pay bills
- living will to make life-support decisions
- medical power of attorney to make health care decisions
- durable power of attorney to make legal decisions
- access to safe deposit box
- may choose to be added to deeds and mortgages
- may need to be added to automobile insurance
- know the person’s wishes (medical treatments, funeral, finances, etc.)
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INFORMATION TO HAVE ON HAND |
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- insurance (Medicare / Medicaid number, supplement, other policies)
- doctors (names, phone numbers, and other contact information)
- medical history (medications, allergies, conditions, procedures)
- identification (social security, military ID, driver’s license numbers)
- address list (friends, neighbors, family)
- service providers (attorney, financial advisor, clergy, accountant)
- financial (account numbers, checkbook, investments, tax records)
- legal (wills, powers of attorney, health care directive)
- deeds (house, other property, car title, boat title)
- insurance (life, medical, auto, homeowner’s)
- household (mortgage, apartment lease, property tax records)
- vital records (birth certificate, marriage license, divorce decree)
- final wishes (organ donation, burial, property distribution)
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MAKE SURE THAT YOU |
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- respect your parent’s independence, even while taking care of them
- allow your parent to make as many decisions as appropriate
- have reasonable expectations of what your parent can do independently
- talk regularly with your parent about their concerns, desires, and frustrations
- make informed decisions that are in the best interest of your parent’s needs
- show compassion while you are trying to be efficient and responsible
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TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF |
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- recognize when you are getting worn out and need a break
- make use of support groups, family, and other caregivers in your situation
- take regular breaks to do something enjoyable for yourself
Once you have Assessed Their Needs and collected Information to Have on Hand, we are Memphis Family Lawyers that help you Get Permission from your eldery parents to facilitate their ongoing care. It is important that you have this discussion with your parents before any emergency situtations arise. We encourage clients to have the conversation early because it avoids any resentment or involuntary decisions. By involving your parents in the planning of their long term care, you are strengthening your relationship by giving them the peace of mind. When you Make Sure That You have planned well for their long term needs now, you end up Taking Care of Yourself.
Ramona Creel is a Professional Organizer and the founder of OnlineOrganizing.com — offering “a world of organizing solutions!” Visit www.onlineorganizing.com for organizing products, free tips, a speakers bureau, get a referral for a Professional Organizer near you, or get some help starting and running your own organizing business. You may contact Ramona at comments@onlineorganizing.com.
Should We Accept Credit Cards for Memphis Divorces and Family Law Cases?
February 15, 2008 | 1 Comment
This is a question for all of the loyal readers of our Memphis divorce and family law blog.
Should we accept credit cards for divorces and family law matters?
We’ve been asked by several clients lately whether or not we accept credit cards. The answer so far has been no, we don’t accept credit cards for our Memphis divorce or family law clients. However, with so many requests we are contemplating changing our policy so that we can begin to accept credit cards for payment.
What do you think? Give us your opinion and let us know if you feel this is something you’d like to see.
How to Make Shared Custody Work in Your Memphis Divorce
February 14, 2008 | Leave a Comment
It takes hard work, rules and schedules to make shared custody work when it comes to a Memphis divorce where children are involved. Just because you will be getting a divorce doesn’t mean you won’t have to deal with your former spouse anymore. But with dedication to making sure that the best interest of your children is always the number one priority shared custody can and does work. Just don’t expect it to be easy.
Steps to Making Shared Custody Work in your Memphis Divorce:
1. Realize that although you and your partner can no longer function as a couple you must continue to function as parents together. Put aside your anger and hurt, and resolve to work together for the good of your child.
2. Expect to have disagreements. After all, you did split up for a reason. When you disagree, try not to do so in front of your child, and try to find a way to compromise. It is too late to hope to change each other. You need to learn to focus on your child together.
3. Talk to the other parent. You and your ex-spouse must find a way to communicate with each other if you are to parent together. If you cannot communicate, you cannot parent effectively as a team.
4. Bite your tongue. Learn not to pursue every argument that comes up. Think of shared custody as a job you must get done. You can’t accomplish your work if you spend all your time arguing.
5. Make a list of rules to follow as parenting partners. For example, no arguing in front of the child, be polite to each other, be considerate of the other person when possible and, most importantly, put your child first.
6. Form some ground rules about things such as bedtime, how much television is allowed, when homework must be done, etc., and follow them in both houses. Having two sets of rules is too confusing for children. Have some rules for yourselves, as well, such as who will wash the child’s clothes, where school and sports equipment will be kept, who will buy clothes, etc.
7. Set up a schedule, and follow it. Sit down with a calendar, and decide where the child will be each day. Write it down, and make sure you both keep a copy. Make a schedule that will be easy to remember and easy to follow. You don’t want it to be different each week.
8. Be flexible. Realize that things are going to come up and changes will have to be made to the schedule to accommodate you, your child and the other parent. The more relaxed and cooperative you both are about this, the easier it will be.
9. Plan out a procedure for requesting schedule changes. For example, all nonemergency changes must be requested at least 24 hours in advance.
10. Consider your child’s feelings. Many children feel strongly about wanting to have one home base, and experts often say that it is best if a child has one place to call home. Do everything you can to make your child feel comfortable.
11. Work around your child’s activities. Don’t make your child miss soccer practice because it is the other parent’s afternoon. Keeping your child involved in activities will help to normalize the situation for him or her.
12. Get help if you need it. It can be helpful to work with a mediator to resolve schedule disputes. It can also be helpful to see a couple’s therapist for help in learning to work together as co-parents.
Tips:
Don’t expect shared custody to go smoothly in the beginning. All of you will have to learn to adjust to it. Be patient with the situation.
If after a while the situation is not working, talk to your attorney about getting the custody situation changed.
Feel good about yourself. By having shared custody you are giving your child access to both parents. Although it may be difficult, it is one of the best things you can do for your child.
Warnings:
If your ex-spouse is or has been abusive, you should rethink shared custody. Keeping your child safe takes precedence over all else.
If you suspect your child has been mistreated by the other parent, you need to contact the police and the local child protective agency.
Special thanks to divorce and family lawyer Grant Griffiths for this post. His original post can be found here.
