Communicating With Attorneys – How Do I Do It?

Is My Divorce Contested?

We hear it almost every day: “Well, I think we’re pretty much uncontested, there might just be one or two issues that are contested.  Does that mean I’ve got a contested divorce?”

And our answer is: it’s hard to say.  What are your “one or two issues?”  Is it simply who gets the engagement ring and a specific credit card debt?  Or is it a battle royale over child visitation and the house?  When you approach an attorney wanting an uncontested divorce, you need to be in a situation that represents total agreement by both parties.  From who gets that one favorite lamp to child visitation, every “t” is crossed and every “i” is dotted.  If you do find yourself with some minor disagreements, we encourage you to try to come to a compromise for the greater good.  One party or the other will have to give on multiple issues, so choose your battles.

If those “one or two issues” balloon into major entanglements, we would classify your divorce as contested.  Uncontested divorces are entitled to lower fees because they require lesser legal work – contested situations require discussion with opposing counsel or parties, mediation, discovery, and even trial, in addition to the same drafting of documents required in uncontested situations.  We aren’t able, in fairness, to fight your battles for you for the lesser fees we offer to clients who have already settled their skirmishes.  So be honest with yourself and your attorney as you move toward a divorce – keep them abreast of the major conflicts so that they are aware whether or not they can assist you through an uncontested divorce or if they will be participating in a contested situation.

What should you wear to the Shelby County Courthouse for your divorce hearing.

We all do it each and every day, we get dressed. But most people aren’t used to getting dressed to go to court for a divorce or custody matter. That’s why we wrote this post. Here’s your guide on what to wear for your Memphis Divorce case.

The first thing you need to think about is whether your “day in court” will be for a contested divorce or for an uncontested divorce. What you wear really depends on the type of divorce case you have.

If your case is not contested, such as a no-fault divorce or approval of an agreement, then the following attire is recommended:

• For Men:  A nice pair of slacks and a dress shirt or golf shirt would be appropriate. A sports coat or suit may be worn but certainly is not required. Leave your “flip flops” at home! Be sure to wear shoes and socks (seems like a basic thing doesn’t it?). Don’t even think about wearing shorts in the Courtroom, or tank tops, tee shirts, shirts reflecting foul or vulgar language or politically incorrect language, or hats.
• For Women:  A dress, skirt and top, or slacks and a nice top would be appropriate. As in the paragraph above, it would not be appropriate to appear in Court in shorts, extremely revealing skirts or shirts, a halter top, or a skimpy tank top, or flip flops.

In contested divorces, where you will testify against one another, the judges impression of you is much more important, and the proper and/or appropriate clothes you should wear changes dramatically.  For instance, in a contested divorce or child custody hearing, you should wear the following type of clothes (think, dress like your lawyer):

• For Men: Same as above; however, a sports coat or suit could be worn but would not be considered mandatory. If the Husband/Father is seeking custody of his child or children, he would want to be dressed conservatively – nothing too flashy, nothing too out-of-the ordinary. For example, if a young Husband is seeking custody of his children, he could receive “negative” points if he appeared in Court in non-traditional attire such as Black Gothic Style clothing or wildly colored hair. Remember, that most Judges are older conservative individuals. If the Husband/Father has an abundance of tattoos, he should consider wearing a long-sleeved shirt to “cover” them.  Also, it would be advisable for the client to remove evidence of body piercings – ears, lips, nose, eyebrows, etc.
• For Women:  The main point to remember is that this is not the time to appear to be “hot” or “sexy” – especially if you are seeking custody of your children. You want to appear stable, sensible, warm and loving. Soft colors are better than bright and vibrant colors. Longer skirt lengths are better than short skirt lengths. You do not want to wear anything that would be considered “too short, too skimpy, too wild, too bold, or too sexy”.

Typically, clients should dress for Court as they would for church or an important job interview. If you are in the armed services, wearing your military attire is a very safe choice. If you look sloppy or inappropriate, the Judge may believe that you are showing or displaying a lack of respect for the Court.  Never forget that you have only one opportunity to create that “first impression”, so consider these “do’s and don’ts” in advance of your Court date and make a good impression with the Judge.

Thanks to the South Carolina Family Law blog for this post.

De-activate your Facebook and Social Media pages if you are going through a Divorce!

I’ve written this before, but now I’m going to say it one more time.

De-activate ALL social media accounts (that includes facebook) if you are going through a divorce or custody dispute!

Divorces can be ugly if the parties don’t agree on things. And your spouse may be looking for any little, tiny edge when it comes to your divorce or custody dispute. Don’t help them out by posting something stupid on Facebook.

Here’s the kicker though – You never know what this “something stupid” will be. It could be something as simple as telling your wife one thing and then posting something else on Facebook. This could show the court that you can’t be trusted and are a habitual lier.

But it could be something REALLY STUPID. For example click on this link to see what a husband posted on Facebook that was downright idiotic.

Q & A: Firing an Attorney

Q:

I want to change the child custody order from my previous divorce but I don’t want to use the same lawyer who handled my divorce, do I need to fire him before I hire you guys?

A:

In regards to firing your current attorney, my first question would be whether you actually are currently represented by an attorney.

If your divorce is final then the original scope of your agreement with your current attorney would most likely already have ended. Attorneys are generally retained for specific matters only. This means that your attorney would have been retained to represent you only in your original divorce matter. Once the divorce was final then you would no longer be represented by him, and there would be no need to “fire” him. You would be free to hire a new attorney for any new matter that comes up. A change of the parenting plan to give you more custody would be a new matter.

If you have not had him begin work on this new matter then you do not need to “fire” him. You can simply call any attorney and begin a new relationship with them.

Of course, if your old attorney has already begun to work on this new matter then you would need to let him or her know that you are going to seek new representation and will no longer need their services. I suggest that you both call their office and mail them a letter informing them of this decision and asking them to release all your files to you. But it is very important that you send them a letter.

In this situation they would be entitled to any fees for work they have completed up until that point. This would possibly include any non-refundable retainer if this was paid by you.

Unfortunately custody modifications can be one of the most expensive types of family law issues. (In reality the most expensive part of the original divorce is usually the determination of child custody.) Unless both parents are in agreement to the modification, these types of issues almost always result in a trial in front of a judge. The court will also need for there to be some type of reason to grant the custody modification, if contested.

What’s It Like To Visit Our Office?

It’s easy for us to forget that not everyone is in a law firm every day (or even occasionally or ever, for that matter!).  We’ve heard we can be a fairly intimidating group to go see, so we wanted to break the ice for you and let you know what to expect when you visit our firm for an initial divorce or child custody and support consultation.

When you arrive you will be greeted by Katie, our legal assistant.  We like to make every effort to keep you comfortable, so we will offer you a beverage and show you to our conference room.  The attorney will be notified of your arrival and will join you shortly (sometimes breaking away from a phone conversation can take a minute, and we hope you understand that we will give you the same focused attention when you become our client).

During your consultation, you will go over your specific situation with the attorney.  You’ll have time for questions and he’ll have answers for you (hopefully, and if not, he’ll find them!).  If you feel that you are ready to move forward in hiring the firm to begin your divorce or child custody and support matter he will review the documents and information we will need to begin with you.  Our initial consultations are free, but if you are ready to move forward with your matter Katie will be able to accept payment from you that day to open your case.

After your half-hour consultation, we will follow up with you in the next few days to see if you have any remaining questions or concerns.  At that point the ball is in your court to let us know any additional help you require.  We will be available to help when you are ready!  We do our best to be on the not-so-scary end of the “intimidating offices” spectrum, and we hope you visit us to see what we mean!  In fact, one of our clients recently wrote us a thank you letter and stated, “You didn’t act like normal lawyers at all.”  We take that as a great compliment.

Annulments…After Death?

Today’s post covers a little of a few legal worlds, everything from marriage to divorce to probate. We had a situation crop up recently that had never occurred to us and inspired a little digging, with surprising results. A client’s father passed away several years ago and he wished to have his father’s marriage declared void or annulled, as it was affecting his inheritance. Sounds like a case of a simple desire for more money, right? Well, it gets more interesting. His father, it turns out, was married twice – and was never divorced the first time. This renders the second marriage void and thus any rights of the second wife to inheritance (barring any mention of her in a will). The son does in fact have the ability to file a bill for annulment, as a void marriage can be attacked by annulment after the death of a party. Evidence would be required to prove the dual marriage – public records confirmation as well as verbal testimony on the part of the first and second wives would be necessary. It’s definitely not an everyday situation, but we found it really interesting that Tennessee law gives you the right to pursue an annulment post-death!

Common Law Marriages – Am I In One?

Angelina and Brad. Goldie and Kurt. It’s becoming more and more common for couples (and parents) to live together for extended periods of time – decades, even – and remain unmarried. We’ve had some clients wondering if, after they have lived with a significant other for a long time, they have what is called a “common law” marriage. Well, if you live in our tri-state area of Arkansas, Tennessee, or Mississippi, you can live with each other for seventy years and still not be considered part of a common law marriage – none of the three states recognizes the practice of common law marriages. In fact, there are very few – less than fifteen – states that recognize them in any form.

In case you are moving to one of these states, what does it take to be recognized as being a spouse in a common law marriage? You must have lived together for a significant period of time, act for all intents and purposes as a married couple (using the same last name, titles of “husband” and “wife”, and filing a joint tax return), and you must intend to be married. Once your common law marriage exists, you and your spouse are treated legally as a married couple. You must even go through a legal divorce should you wish to end your marriage. And if you leave one of the few states that still recognize common law marriage, other states will continue to recognize you as married, but national institutions (like the Social Security Administration) may not unless you stay in a state that continues to recognize them as valid.

Going to the Memphis/Shelby County Courthouse to Finalize Your Divorce?

A lot of our clients are fortunate enough to have never had a need to travel to downtown Memphis to the courthouse.  So when it comes time to finalize their Shelby County divorce and they need to appear at their hearing, they have no idea where to go!  Here’s a brief look at our Shelby County Courthouse:

Memphis - Shelby County Courthouse

The Courthouse was built in 1910, and is currently listed in the National Historic Register.  It’s located at 140 Adams Avenue in the heart of downtown Memphis and takes up a city block.  There are several parking lots and garages nearby, or you can park on the streets nearby.  When you arrive at the Courthouse for a divorce hearing, you will be going to one of two places – either a Circuit Court courtroom or a Chancery Court courtroom.  Both courts take divorce cases, and when a divorce is filed it is randomly assigned to one of those two courts.  Your attorney, in scheduling your hearing with you, should inform you which place you need to be.

Once inside, you must go through a metal detector and have any bags with you examined through an x-ray machine, much as you would at the airport.  After you pass through security you may proceed to your courtroom.  There are signs everywhere giving you listings of room numbers, and you should easily be able to navigate to where you need to go.

As you walk the Courthouse, you might recognize some of the hallways and courtrooms – our Shelby County Courthouse has been featured in such movies as Silence of the Lambs, The Firm, The Client, and The People vs. Larry Flynt!  And look at each room doorknob – many have the seal of Shelby County imprinted on to them.

Once you reach your courtroom you will meet your divorce lawyer outside the door and follow their guidance for where to go once inside the courtroom and once called by the judge.  When your hearing is concluded your divorce is declared final and you are free to leave.  Your attorney will send you your final divorce decree.  Hopefully you’ve just concluded your one and only visit to the Shelby County Courthouse!

How can a stay-at-home mom afford a divorce?

As everyone’s budget belts tighten a notch or two in this down economy, it is understandable that many people are finding themselves in the predicament of wanting (or needing) a divorce but being unable to afford the sometimes prohibitive cost of getting one.  This is especially common for stay-at-home parents who have elected to remain home with children while the other spouses are the primary breadwinners and money handlers.

We want you to know that there are options in place to help you obtain the divorce and assist with the costs, even some of your attorney’s fees.  Once a Complaint for Divorce is filed (the initial document which starts the divorce lawsuit) with the courts, you can request a Pendente Lite hearing.  At this hearing a divorce referee will order temporary child support and spousal support/alimony if it is needed.  The defending spouse will usually be required to pay your attorney’s fees from that hearing.  Any temporary spousal support/alimony ordered by the courts at this hearing will be received only while the divorce is pending up until its final resolution, at which time a permanent support order will be entered for both child and spousal support.  The temporary support can help provide the funds that stay-at-home parents or otherwise unemployed spouses need to get through the divorce process.

The moral of the story is to not let the fear of monetary ruin dictate whether or not you choose to seek a divorce, especially in cases of emotional or physical abuse.  The legal system has put protections in place to help you.  Please seek the advice of an attorney to find out what route might be best for you.

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