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5 Tips for Parents Going Through a Divorce

February 27, 2009 By Leave a Comment



Part of a divorce with children is figuring out custody, through what the courts here call a “Permanent Parenting Plan.”  This document does more than determine where your children will be on the next holiday or weekend, though – it also helps set out a set of guidelines that you and your soon-to-be ex agree on in how to raise your children.  It includes everything from who will make the major decisions regarding things like religion to outlining the rights of parents.  But right from the outset, it includes some key phrasing that is important to remember in this incredibly difficult time for your family:

“The mother and father will behave with each other and each child so as to provide a loving, stable, consistent and nurturing relationship with the child even though they are divorced.”

There are a lot of emotions coming to the surface during a divorce: anger, betrayal, hurt, sorrow, and despair.  We encourage you and all of our clients to remember, though, that the most important thing you can do for yourself and your children is to step back and realize that they are being possibly more affected by the divorce than you are.  Here are our 5 Tips for Divorcing Parents:

1.      Do not criticize the other parent in front of your children, under any circumstances.  This contributes to a feeling of instability and disharmony for the children, and creates for them confusion as to how to act regarding their love for the other parent.  This includes letting your children know if you are not receiving child support – telling your kids that can only lead them to feeling some sense of abandonment, doing long-term emotional damage.

2.      Remind your kids constantly of your and the other parent’s love for them.  Remind them often that the divorce is in no way their fault.

3.      Do not use your children as messengers.  A divorce is something that occurs between adults, and all communications stemming from it should be handled accordingly, by adults.  Kids do not need to be made a part of the struggle.

4.      Pay your child support, if you are the non-custodial parent.  Withholding child support out of anger or spite does more harm to the children involved than you may realize.

5.      Finally, at every step make sure to remember that your children’s interests should always be placed ahead of yours, the other parent’s, or anyone else’s.  Make sure they get every possible access to the other parent, and do so positively and with every means in your power.

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Is the economy affecting divorces? You Betcha!

February 12, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Raise your hand if you want a divorce yet aren’t getting one because of the economy.

 Our office is always busy handling divorce and child custody cases. We get lots of calls every week from people wanting information about divorces or wanting us to represent them. So how do I know that the economy is affecting divorces even if we’re still getting lots of calls? Well, we track the number of calls we receive each month. And so far December and January were down over 25% from previous numbers.

Now this is purely unscientific, but I’ve got to believe that a big part of this is because of the economy. Hopefully something good is going to come out of the economic slump, and that is people are going to work through their marital issues and stay together.

A common misconception that divorcing couples have is that a divorce will solve everything and that they will never have to deal with their former spouse again. But unless you’re in a short term marriage and there are no children involved this is far from the truth. The fact is, you’re going to be seeing a lot of each other for many years to come and you’ll never be completely out of each others life.

 My associate Chris and I were recently discussing this and both of us agreed that the biggest difference between a married couple with children and a divorced couple with children is that they can now sleep with other people and go home to different houses. So my wish is that if something good is to occur from the bad economy it’s that families who were going to get divorced but now can’t afford it might actually be able to repair their relationship over the next few month.

But for those of you who just simply can’t wait for a divorce and must have it now we do offer “financing” for your divorce. Our office is happy to work with you on monthly payments that will allow you to seek the divorce you want. All you need is a credit card to get started.

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