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Divorce Mediation – A first-timer’s impression

September 19, 2012 By Leave a Comment

As a divorce lawyer I often attend and take part in divorce mediations. I recently completed a mediation for a client that resulted in what I felt was a really good and fair settlement for her. During this mediation I was accompanied by a new associate who was attending a mediation for her first time. And since this was her first time to attend a mediation I asked her to write down her thoughts about it so that we could share her perspective here on the blog. I hope by sharing her thoughts it helps those of you who have not yet attended a mediation to better understand what occurs.

The following is what she wrote:

Today I attended my first mediation, and as I reflect on what I learned, several things come to mind.

Coming in with an open mind is essential to mediation success.  With that being said, however, the parties should be careful not to be so open-minded that their brains fall out.  The parties should enter mediation with some idea of what they really want, what would satisfy them, and what would be their absolute bottom line.

 Expectations

What the parties should NOT do is enter mediation with unrealistic expectations.  The responsibility for creating and managing expectations lies, at least in part, with the attorneys on either side.  There are law firms in this city – we aren’t one and luckily, we did not have one on the other side in this mediation – who will feed their clients unrealistic promises of what they are entitled to.  While this approach has the potential to make the firm a lot of money (and cost the client a lot of money), it falls apart in mediation because the mediator, generally speaking, is going to tell it like it really is about the state of the law.  The mediator has no interest whatsoever in “puffing up” the client, so in mediation, the client of such an attorney is going to figure out that his or her attorney has over-promised. The client will not be happy when he or she discovers this.  Attorneys have a vital role to play in explaining to their clients what they can expect in the mediation.

For what it’s worth, in this particular mediation, I believe Jami did an excellent job in letting his client know what to expect, what would be fair, and what would need to be negotiable. This was, at least in part, because the client did an excellent job both in educating herself about the mediation process and in providing our office with the information we needed regarding the items in issue.

Preparation and Organization

The attorneys and the parties have spent many hours developing the case prior to mediation.  The mediator does not, cannot, and probably never will know as much about the case as the parties and their attorneys do.  Therefore, a vital part of the preparation process is finding a way to inform the mediator about the case in a concise, clear, direct manner.  Before mediation, I was convinced that this was important.  Now I know that it is absolutely crucial.  The mediator has to be able to wrap his or her mind around all of the issues in controversy between the parties.  The person who goes into mediation disorganized and unprepared may come out disappointed.  The purpose of mediation is to reach a fair result that both parties can live with.  However, if the parties are less than clear about what assets are out there, there is no way for them or their attorneys to decide whether a given settlement is fair.

Sometimes parties go into mediation with very few “sticking points” or issues in controversy.  They may have agreed on everything except who has parenting time with the child on Christmas Day.  However, it’s often the case that the parties have problems communicating with each other and haven’t agreed on anything at all.  When this is the situation, things can get extremely complicated and disordered in mediation.  The less organized the mediation is, the less likely the parties are to settle.  If they do not settle, then all they will get out of the day is frustration, a bill from the attorneys and the mediator, and no satisfaction.  Preparation and realistic expectations are the key to a truly satisfying mediation process.

 In Conclusion

In the mediation I attended, both attorneys were well-organized and prepared to negotiate.  They had carefully addressed all the issues with their clients, and had spoken with them to set realistic expectations.  I don’t know what happened in the opposing party’s room, because of course I wasn’t allowed in there, but in our room, the mediator never said anything about the law that surprised our client at all.  Our client knew what she was entitled to have, and she knew what would satisfy her.  She went in with realistic expectations, and she came out with a settlement she could more than live with.  I’m convinced that’s the best possible outcome of mediation, and when attorneys work hard to prepare their clients to negotiate, they maximize the chances that both parties will come out of the mediation with exactly that result.

Filed Under: Divorce Mediation, Memphis Divorce Blog, Uncontested Divorce Tagged With:

How long does it take to get an uncontested divorce in Memphis?

January 7, 2012 By Leave a Comment

I get this question a lot, in fact I probably hear it about 6-7 times a week at my law office. So, I thought I would add a little information here to help you understand a bit more about how long it takes to get an uncontested divorce in Memphis.

First though, make sure you understand what an “uncontested” divorce actually is by reading my definition of an uncontested divorce here.

Here’s our timeline for how long it takes to get an uncontested divorce  when you use us as your Memphis divorce lawyer:how long it takes to get a divorce in Memphis, TN

  1. We meet and learn more during our marital consultation and find out what’s going on in your life and the specific problems you’re facing.
    • Sometimes this is done over the phone or through email for simple divorce matters.
  2.  You complete all the forms that we need.
    • It’s up to you on how long this takes
    • For simple divorce matters the only form usually completed is our client questionnaire form.
    • In cases with a considerable amount of property to be divided we also have you complete our marital balance sheet.
    • And in cases where there are minor children you will need to complete our parenting plan form.
  3. We get a first draft of all the documents we create back to you for review about 2-3 weeks after you return the documents listed above back to us.
    • This can take a little more time or a little less time for us to return to you. It depends on how busy we are and how many active cases we are currently working on.
  4. You let us know if any changes or needed to the drafts.
    • We usually make revisions within 1-2 days and return to you for review.
  5. If everything is correct and documents are ready to sign then you present them to your spouse for his signature on the MDA (and parenting plan if minor kids are involved).
    • Again, it’s up to you on how long this takes.
  6. You return the documents that your spouse needed to have signed and notarized back to us.
    • We can witness your signature on all the documents at this time, or you can sign and have them notarized and just drop them off or mail back to us.
    • Yet again, it’s up to you on how long this takes.
  7.  We file your documents once they are all signed, notarized and all fees have been paid.
  8.  We wait for the “waiting period” to run out.
    • This is 60 days from the date the complaint was filed in divorces with no minor children, and 90 days when there are minor children involved.
  9. When the waiting period is about to be over we request a date from the clerk’s office for the final hearing.
    • This date is usually sometime one week to one month after the waiting period is over, dependent on the judge’s and attorney’s calendar.
  10. You and I attend the final hearing where I present the judge with a final decree for him or her to sign. This final decree is usually signed at this hearing by the judge and your divorce is complete.
    • You will be given a copy of this final decree at the courthouse, and your spouse will be mailed a copy of this decree since he is usually not present at the hearing.

So, how long do all of these steps take?

There isn’t an exact answer. As you can see above, the total amount of time it takes from the first time we speak until the divorce is finalized is heavily dependent on your actions.

But we’ve found that for the majority of uncontested divorce we handle it takes between 4-6 months for a divorce without minor children and between 5-9 months for a divorce with minor children.

Of course, there are cases that may go a little faster and some that take much longer. But this is usually because the spouses either agreed to everything very quickly and returned all information to us quickly, or they couldn’t agree easily and/or drug their feet returning documents to us.

I hope this helps you understand how long it takes to get an uncontested divorce here in Memphis, TN. And if you have any questions you would like answered please email me at James@MemphisDivorceFirm.com

Filed Under: Memphis Divorce Blog, Q&A, Uncontested Divorce Tagged With: , ,

What’s an uncontested divorce? Here’s our law firm’s definition.

January 5, 2012 By 1 Comment

There’s a lot of confusion about what exactly an “uncontested” divorce is. I have clients who come in wanting an uncontested divorce all the time, but when I begin talking more with them I realize that there is almost no way that their divorce will be uncontested.

So, today I want to explain exactly what my office considers an “uncontested” divorce. This is important because both you and I need have a very clear understanding of what you’re facing, both emotionally and financially.

The Definition of an Uncontested Divorce

Here at my Memphis law office I consider a divorce to be uncontested only when both spouses want to get divorced and agree between themselves as to exactly how all the property will be divided. And in cases where there are minor children involved, the spouses also must agree between themselves as to exactly how the parenting time will be shared.

 

A divorce is not uncontested unless the spouses agree with each other 100% on all of the above things. Even disagreeing on one thing can turn a divorce into being “contested”, and in fact it’s usually only one or two things that causes a divorce to be contested. But these one or two things are usually very important things.Also, a divorce is not uncontested if the spouses each hire an attorney to represent them. If either of these things occur then the divorce becomes much more expensive, time consuming, and just more difficult and frustrating overall.

I can tell you that in our uncontested divorces 99% of the time both spouses have talked about getting a divorce and know that one person is going to a divorce attorney to get everything started. The uncontested divorces we handle are NOT situations where one spouse is shocked that the other wants a divorce.

So, what’s our job as your divorce lawyer if you’re going through an uncontested divorce?

We then advise you as to the whether or not the things you’ve agreed to will likely be approved by the court. (You can’t imagine how many do-it-yourself divorces I see denied at final hearings in front of the judge because the spouses entered into an agreement that the judge doesn’t agree with or that isn’t legal. Believe it or not, but just because you and your spouse agree to something in a divorce doesn’t mean that the court will approve it.), Next we incorporate your wishes into the proper legal format, create all documents, and then file the proper documents (once signed and returned to us) with the court. Think of our job as being your guide through the courthouse and to the completion of your divorce.

I always, always, always (can I say always one more time?) advise spouses that are considering a divorce to try to go the uncontested route if possible. It’s faster, easier, and cheaper. But for those of you with lot’s of assets, or who feel your spouse is hiding things, or who just can’t come to any kind of agreement with your spouse, it’s probably not an option. In those cases your only option is going contested.

But no matter what type of divorce case you pursue, whether it’s uncontested or contested we can help. As a Memphis divorce lawyer I’m accustomed to handling both and would be happy to speak with you if you have questions. You can contact my office at 901-754-1340 or by emailing me at James@MemphisDivorceFirm.com

 

Filed Under: Family Law, Memphis Divorce Blog, Q&A, Uncontested Divorce Tagged With: ,

Making the Decision to Seek a Memphis Divorce

February 1, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Deciding on whether to divorce your husband is always going to be an emotional decision. Even if marital breakdown has occurred to the point where you do not have any romantic feelings left for him, it can still be difficult.

The two of you have built a life together and both of you will face some major changes if you decide to end your marriage. That’s why it vitally important to be as logical about your options as possible when deciding on whether or not you should pursue a Memphis divorce. Every relationship is different and everyone reacts differently to the trials, tribulations, and the arguments that come with being married. Make sure the decision to get a divorce doesn’t come lightly.

Was the breaking of the bond of trust a big factor making you consider a divorce?

For example, did a particular event cause you to want to get divorced? Will you be able to recover from this event? Will you be able to truly move on from this event without reliving it in your mind for the rest of your marriage? And was this a one-time event or was it part of an ongoing series of events?

You also need to look at the overall health of your marriage, and your ability and willingness to continue to pursue the marriage. This means not only do you want to try to make things work, but is your husband also going to make changes and actively work on making the marriage viable.

You need to have a plan for what your post divorce life will be like.

Take a good and honest assessment of how you will be able to manage yourself financially. Where will you live, how will you support yourself, and how will your children handle the effects of your Memphis divorce?

Sometimes it’s easy to decide that you must divorce. These are usually in cases where some type of physical abuse is occurring and you MUST leave the marriage immediately! Under this type of circumstance the decision to divorce is one that must be made and is always in your best interest. However, in some situations it may be best to try to work through the issues causing strife in your marriage. If you do decide that the only solution to your situation is to seek a divorce you should contact a Memphis divorce attorney that you trust to seek advice on the steps to take. It’s important that you don’t make mistakes that could hurt you.

If you have any questions the Memphis divorce attorneys at the Ferrell law firm would be happy to attempt to answer these for you. You can learn more by calling them at 901-754-1340.

Filed Under: Contested Divorce, Memphis Divorce Blog, Uncontested Divorce Tagged With:

How long does it take to get an uncontested divorce in Memphis?

March 29, 2010 By Leave a Comment

This is the question that was submitted to us last week on our Facebook fan page. I’m going to break this down into two different answers in two different posts. First let’s look at how long it takes to for you get a divorce in Memphis if you are wanting to pursue an uncontested divorce and there are no children in the marriage.memphis divorces take time

How long does it take to get a divorce if you don’t have kids?

Like so many things in life this really depends on your particular circumstances. But, the shortest amount of time a couple with no children could get an uncontested divorce here in Memphis theoretically would be 60 days. However, in reality this is probably going to take at least a minimum of 90 days.

Here are the reasons why:

1. In Tennessee there is a statutory (mandatory) 60 day waiting period from the date you file your divorce complaint until the day you can have your divorced finalized in front of a judge.

a. In reality what happens is that when the 60 days is up you then have to wait a couple of weeks before your final court hearing date because the courts calendar is always very full.

2. It usually takes at least two weeks from the time you come in to meet with your Memphis divorce lawyer until you have all of your paperwork completed and turned back in to your lawyers.

a. Here at the Ferrell Law Firm, for our Memphis uncontested divorces where no children are involved this paperwork consists of our Short Form of Statistical Information and our Marital Balance Sheet.

3. We have to wait until we get all your paperwork in before we can get all of your information put into your formal divorce complaint and marital dissolution agreement in the correct legal format to be accepted by the court.

a. It usually takes us about a week to complete this step, submit your complaint for divorce and marital dissolution agreement with the divorce referee and file it at the Shelby County Courthouse.

So, a simple Memphis uncontested divorce with no children will usually take about anywhere from 90 to 120 days to complete, beginning on the day you first meet with your Memphis divorce attorney.

Of course most of this really depends on how long it takes you to complete your paperwork and return it to us. Again, that’s because the 60 day waiting period does not begin until we have received your paperwork, completed our legal documents, submitted it to the divorce referee and filed it with the court.

If you’re wanting to get an uncontested divorce and have more questions give us a call at 901-881-6353 or email me at James@LawFerrell.com. If you would like to see how much it would cost you for a Memphis divorce click here.

Filed Under: Q&A, Uncontested Divorce Tagged With:

What is the Waiting Period in Tennessee for a Divorce?

February 5, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Many of our new clients are confused about the waiting periods they come up against in their divorce process.  How long are they?  When do they start?  Can I get around them?andy warhol waiting

In Tennessee, the waiting periods begin when the Complaint for Absolute Divorce is filed.  The Complaint can be filed on its own in a contested divorce situation, or can be filed jointly with the Marital Dissolution Agreement and Permanent Parenting Plan in an uncontested divorce matter.

If you are especially anxious to begin your waiting period but are in an uncontested situation, you can file your Complaint separately, and then continue to work on the other documents.  The only factor to keep in mind there is that, when the Complaint is filed separately, you must allege other grounds for divorce than simple “irreconcilable differences” (i.e. adultery, inappropriate marital conduct, etc.).  You can still proceed as an uncontested divorce, just be aware that the Complaint will list those alternate grounds for divorce.

The waiting periods are 60 days from the day of filing of the Complaint for a divorce without children, and 90 days from the day of filing of the Complaint for a divorce with children.  This is a mandatory timeframe outlined by the Tennessee statutes, so there’s no avoiding it.

Once your waiting period ends, you will hear from the Courts about your final hearing date.  This can be as soon as within one week of the end of your waiting period or as far out as a month or more, dependent upon the Courts’ case load.  Rest assured that if you have an attorney working on your behalf they are checking in on this date regularly.  Unfortunately, it is completely out of their hands as to when you are scheduled for your final hearing and how soon they hear about it.  Rescheduling is an option, but it will always be for a date that is further out, not sooner.

Hopefully that clears up a little confusion about the waiting periods for a divorce here in Tennessee, watch for a future post on the same topic for Mississippi divorces!

Filed Under: Q&A, Uncontested Divorce Tagged With:

Is My Divorce Contested?

February 3, 2010 By Leave a Comment

We hear it almost every day: “Well, I think we’re pretty much uncontested, there might just be one or two issues that are contested.  Does that mean I’ve got a contested divorce?”

And our answer is: it’s hard to say.  What are your “one or two issues?”  Is it simply who gets the engagement ring and a specific credit card debt?  Or is it a battle royale over child visitation and the house?  When you approach an attorney wanting an uncontested divorce, you need to be in a situation that represents total agreement by both parties.  From who gets that one favorite lamp to child visitation, every “t” is crossed and every “i” is dotted.  If you do find yourself with some minor disagreements, we encourage you to try to come to a compromise for the greater good.  One party or the other will have to give on multiple issues, so choose your battles.

If those “one or two issues” balloon into major entanglements, we would classify your divorce as contested.  Uncontested divorces are entitled to lower fees because they require lesser legal work – contested situations require discussion with opposing counsel or parties, mediation, discovery, and even trial, in addition to the same drafting of documents required in uncontested situations.  We aren’t able, in fairness, to fight your battles for you for the lesser fees we offer to clients who have already settled their skirmishes.  So be honest with yourself and your attorney as you move toward a divorce – keep them abreast of the major conflicts so that they are aware whether or not they can assist you through an uncontested divorce or if they will be participating in a contested situation.

Filed Under: Contested Divorce, Tips & Miscellaneous, Uncontested Divorce

Mississippi Divorce Law Update

January 25, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Today an article came to our attention, and we thought you mind find it interesting, too.  Jack Elliot Jr. of the AP wrote “Analysis: House declines to expand divorce laws,” an article discussing recent activity in the Mississippi House of Representatives regarding proposed divorce legislation.  The article tells us that thirty years ago Mississippi enacted “no-fault,” or uncontested, divorces.  More recently, State Rep. Mark DuVall (D-Mantachie) sought to add compulsive gambling as a 13th ground for divorce last week.  The bill ultimately failed with 40 votes for and 74 against.  Other bills dealing with child custody issues and premarital agreements have been filed this year, and a few others have proposed adding irreconcilable differences (a frequently-used ground for divorce in uncontested divorces in Tennessee) as a 13th ground, but the irreconcilable differences failed as well.  Opposition to these bills has expressed the desire to keep the state from making divorce any easier.  What do you think – do additional grounds for divorce make getting a divorce easier?  Do you think compulsive gambling or irreconcilable differences are reasonable grounds for divorce?

Filed Under: Family Law, Memphis Divorce Blog, Uncontested Divorce

How much does it cost to file for a divorce in Memphis?

January 11, 2010 By Leave a Comment

If you are wanting to get a divorce in Memphis, Tennessee then you probably want to know how much it’s going to cost you, right?

stacks of dollars

If you’re getting an uncontested divorce it’s pretty simple to tell you exactly how much your divorce is going to cost. But before we can tell you the cost we need to know if you have any minor (under the age of 18) children.

If you do NOT have children then the filing fee (This is the fee that’s payable to the Shelby County Courts, your lawyer does not get to keep this)will be $301.50.

If you DO have minor children the filing fee for the Shelby county courts will be $376.50, no matter how many children you may have.

Next are your attorneys fees. Here at the Ferrell Law Firm we charge a flat rate for uncontested divorces. (Note that we pay for your filing fees out of our all-inclusive fee when we handle your divorce.)

Our attorney’s fees for an uncontested divorce with NO children is $1,799.

Our attorney’s fees for an uncontested divorce WITH children is $2,799.

Why are there different fees depending on whether or not you have children? The reason is because in Memphis divorces where minor children are involved we are required to put together and file a Permanent Parenting Plan or PPP. This PPP requires quite a bit more time to complete and file, that’s why both your lawyer’s fees and the county filing fees are higher. But even then our rate of only $999 for an uncontested divorce with children is a STEAL.

What about contested divorces, how much do they cost?

Contested divorces are an entirely different monster. And I do mean monster. (Let me take a minute here to say you really should try to work things out with your spouse first. If you can’t stay together at least try to agree on property division and custody issues so that you can save THOUSANDS of dollars in attorney’s fees for a contested divorce.)

We never know how much a contested divorce is going to cost you. It’s really impossible to say because we don’t know how many things you and your spouse are going to argue over. Your lawyer’s bill is going to be as high or low as you make it. It just depends on how much you want to fight with your spouse.

I can tell you that our intial retainer fee is normally $5,000 for a contested divorce here in Memphis. And your lawyer will bill you by the hour for the time he or she spends on your case. Our lawyer’s hourly fees start at $175 per hour and go up from there.

At the end of each month we will send you a detailed bill showing you the work that we have done and showing you the balance of funds you have left in your retainer account. Then at the beginning of each month we require money be deposited into your retainer account to bring it back to $5,000.

What will your total cost be for a contested divorce? Again, we can’t tell you that because of all the variables. I can say that most contested divorces at a minimum cost at least $7,500 and they can go way up from there.

If you have any other questions about costs please call us at 901-881-6353 or visit our memphis divorce fees and costs page here.

Filed Under: Contested Divorce, Memphis Divorce Blog, Uncontested Divorce Tagged With: ,

How long does it take to get an uncontested divorce in Memphis?

September 17, 2009 By Leave a Comment

It mostly depends on YOU!

The timeline of each divorce is as unique as the people and situations involved.  But the question is common: how long will it take for my Memphis uncontested divorce? 

Once you have met with and retained an attorney, a lot of the timeline control will lay in your hands.  The attorney’s ability to draft your divorce paperwork will depend on the speed with which you get them the necessary information.  How you get that information to them can be key, too – it is often easiest to gather all applicable information at once to submit to your attorney, rather than calling or emailing repeatedly with tidbits of information here and there.

Once they have all of your information, your attorney will draft your divorce documents (see our Resource Center for examples of these) and give them a review.  This can take a few days to do properly, depending on the attorney’s caseload or court schedule at the time.  The papers next get your review and stamp of approval, which again is on your schedule.  When the paperwork is approved, then it gets mailed to the opposing party for their signatures – while we include a self-addressed, stamped envelope for ease of return, this section can take some time as well (factor in postal service timing in addition to the other party’s ability to sign in the presence of a notary public).

When the paperwork returns to the attorney’s office you are contacted to come in to sign.  When all signatures are in order and all payments have been made for filing fees, the documents will get filed.  This can take a few days, depending on the attorney’s schedule or proximity to the courthouse.  It is at this time only that a concrete timeline begins: in Shelby County, TN, there is a 60-day waiting period for divorces without children and a 90-day waiting period for divorces with children, while in DeSoto County, MS, there is a 60-day waiting period for divorces based upon the grounds of irreconcilable differences.  At the end of that waiting period, your attorney will contact the courts to determine or request a final hearing date.  That date can be anywhere from within the same week to several weeks out, depending on your, the court’s, and your attorney’s schedules.  At the time of the final hearing’s conclusion, your divorce is final.

All in all, your divorce can range anywhere from two and a half months to a year or more, depending on your ability to fulfill your attorney’s requests for information and documentation quickly, schedule time to sign paperwork, and how you choose to communicate all of that information.

Filed Under: Q&A, Uncontested Divorce Tagged With: ,
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