How to prepare your children for divorce

My friend, and Virginia divorce attorney, Charlie Hofheimer has a great post over on his site discussing how to prepare your children for divorce, click the link to read his entire post.

He raises some good points that ring true no matter if you’re located in Virginia or Memphis, Tennessee.

The two key points are:

  1. You should both sit down with your children and discuss a pending divorce. Don’t just leave it up to one parent to do this. You both need to be involved.
  2. Make sure that you explicitly explain that your divorce was not caused by anything that your children did. I can’t stress this enough. Do NOT let them think for even a moment that they played any role in your pending divorce.

Memphis divorce lawyers at the Ferrell Law Firm are here to help you with any type of family law issue that you may be facing. Call us at 901.881.6353 or drop by our office at 2255 S. Germantown Road, Germantown, TN 38138.

A Dozen Ways Children of Divorce get caught in their Parents’ Conflict : Part 3 : Specially posted for Memphis Parents

One our readers just pointed out that I never followed up on part 3 of  how children get caught up in their parents divorce. Please accept my apologies. Here is the final part of this series.

You can view part 1 of this series Here and part 2 Here.

9.     Child Abuse Allegations

It is becoming common for conflicting parents to express their hostilities by making unfounded allegations of child abuse.  For children the consequences of these allegations are negative and far-reaching.  Children are drawn into evaluations, investigations, and court testimony which greatly increase the risk of prolonged confusion, hurt, and anger.

10.     Custody Fights

Some parents pursue custody fights when they know perfectly well that the real reason for the custody action is to be vindictive.  Children experience custody battles between their parents as extremely stressful.

11.     Child Support

Parents too often use child support by withholding it, demanding more, or making payments late when the real motivation is to perpetuate a dispute with the former spouse.  In many homes children suffer directly when child support payments are not made regularly or when conflict is expressed indirectly in this way.

12.     Using Noble Ideas to Hide Double Standards

A custodial parent might say “i want her to make her own decisions” when a child refused to visit the non-custodial parent but strictly enforce curfews when the same child wants to stay out late.  A custodial parent might say “He has the right to his own feelings” if a child says critical things about his non-custodial parent but lecture and browbeat the same child for “talking back” at home.  Children are sensitive to inconsistencies.  They react to them with mistrust and cynicism.

Thanks go to the Missouri Divorce & Family Law Blog for the original content.