Memphis domestic violence victims – You need help!

Last week Michael Lollar of the Commercial Appeal wrote an article highlighting the growth of domestic violence cases in Memphis over the past year, stressing that out of 4,001 domestic violence cases last year there were 35 deaths and a four percent increase in repeat offenders.  In our previous post, we discussed the possibilities surrounding divorcing a jailed spouse, and we want you to know that the same options exist for those who are the victims of domestic violence.Tennessee grounds for divorce include two separate references to cases of abuse: “ The husband or wife is guilty of such cruel and inhuman treatment or conduct towards the spouse as renders cohabitation unsafe and improper, which may also be referred to in pleadings as inappropriate marital conduct,” and “The husband or wife has offered such indignities to the spouse’s person as to render the spouse’s position intolerable, and thereby forced the spouse to withdraw.”  As we mentioned in the last post, you can seek either a “no fault” divorce or, should the matter become contested, you can file for divorce on one of the above grounds.  Mississippi also provides for victims of domestic violence, citing as grounds for divorce: “Habitual cruel and inhuman treatment.”

There are many resources both locally and nationwide to reach out to should you become the victim of domestic abuse.  The National Domestic Violence Hotline, at 1-800-356-6767 or 1-800-799-7233, is an excellent resource, as is the local CAAP Domestic Violence Program Hotline, at 901-272-2221.

If you’re the victim of domestic violence DO NOT stay in the relationship. No matter what you may hope, things rarely turn for the better. Seek counseling today!

Should You Date During Your Divorce?

This is an easy question to answer, it’s a resounding NO!

Although you may be separated from each other and living apart you should never date anyone while going through the divorce process. Rember, technically you are still married. What that means is that if you date someone while going through a divorce your spouse could sue you for divorce based on adultery.

You might say, “So what, who cares what he or she sues me for. I’m getting a divorce anyway.” But the truth is that a divorce based on adultery can cause major problems if you are wanting to get alimony or custody of children. You could end up without either if decide to date someone during the divorce process.

Not only that, but if you originally filed for divorce based on your spouses adultery your dating someone could destroy your grounds for divorce. When this occurs it is called recrimination and it can cause your divorce to drag out in court costing you thousands in legal fees and delaying your divorce.

Just remeber, your divorce will eventually be final and then you’ll have nothing but time to find and date that special someone. Until then keeps your hands to yourself and leave the dating life to your single friends.