How to prepare your children for divorce

My friend, and Virginia divorce attorney, Charlie Hofheimer has a great post over on his site discussing how to prepare your children for divorce, click the link to read his entire post.

He raises some good points that ring true no matter if you’re located in Virginia or Memphis, Tennessee.

The two key points are:

1. You should both sit down with your children and discuss a pending divorce. Don’t just leave it up to one parent to do this. You both need to be involved.
2. Make sure that you explicitly explain that your divorce was not caused by anything that your children did. I can’t stress this enough. Do NOT let them think for even a moment that they played any role in your pending divorce.

Memphis divorce lawyers at the Ferrell Law Firm are here to help you with any type of family law issue that you may be facing. Call us at 901.881.6353 or drop by our office at 2255 S. Germantown Road, Germantown, TN 38138.

Memphis domestic violence victims – You need help!

Last week Michael Lollar of the Commercial Appeal wrote an article highlighting the growth of domestic violence cases in Memphis over the past year, stressing that out of 4,001 domestic violence cases last year there were 35 deaths and a four percent increase in repeat offenders.  In our previous post, we discussed the possibilities surrounding divorcing a jailed spouse, and we want you to know that the same options exist for those who are the victims of domestic violence.Tennessee grounds for divorce include two separate references to cases of abuse: “ The husband or wife is guilty of such cruel and inhuman treatment or conduct towards the spouse as renders cohabitation unsafe and improper, which may also be referred to in pleadings as inappropriate marital conduct,” and “The husband or wife has offered such indignities to the spouse’s person as to render the spouse’s position intolerable, and thereby forced the spouse to withdraw.”  As we mentioned in the last post, you can seek either a “no fault” divorce or, should the matter become contested, you can file for divorce on one of the above grounds.  Mississippi also provides for victims of domestic violence, citing as grounds for divorce: “Habitual cruel and inhuman treatment.”

There are many resources both locally and nationwide to reach out to should you become the victim of domestic abuse.  The National Domestic Violence Hotline, at 1-800-356-6767 or 1-800-799-7233, is an excellent resource, as is the local CAAP Domestic Violence Program Hotline, at 901-272-2221.

If you’re the victim of domestic violence DO NOT stay in the relationship. No matter what you may hope, things rarely turn for the better. Seek counseling today!

Should You Date During Your Divorce?

This is an easy question to answer, it’s a resounding NO!

Although you may be separated from each other and living apart you should never date anyone while going through the divorce process. Rember, technically you are still married. What that means is that if you date someone while going through a divorce your spouse could sue you for divorce based on adultery.

You might say, “So what, who cares what he or she sues me for. I’m getting a divorce anyway.” But the truth is that a divorce based on adultery can cause major problems if you are wanting to get alimony or custody of children. You could end up without either if decide to date someone during the divorce process.

Not only that, but if you originally filed for divorce based on your spouses adultery your dating someone could destroy your grounds for divorce. When this occurs it is called recrimination and it can cause your divorce to drag out in court costing you thousands in legal fees and delaying your divorce.

Just remeber, your divorce will eventually be final and then you’ll have nothing but time to find and date that special someone. Until then keeps your hands to yourself and leave the dating life to your single friends.